Feelings Wheel – Connecting You to Your Emotions

You might be wondering what the heck is a feelings wheel, and why you should care.

Well, you are a human who experiences a vast number of emotions. Up to 34,000 according to Robert Plutchik, PhD. And the feelings wheel, if it isn’t already, is going to be the tool that is your new best friend.

For starters, the feelings wheel is a graphic tool that is shaped like a wheel and lists feelings. Shocker, I know. More importantly, the inner circle of the feelings wheel features the “core” or “basic” emotions. And as you move further out in the circle, the emotions are broken down into more “complex” or “secondary” emotions.

Now there are various versions of the feelings wheel, or emotions wheel, as others call it. But all of them have the same purpose. Which is to help recognize and communicate emotions.

I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life where I had no clue what I was feeling. Sometimes I thought I knew. Then upon further evaluation, I was definitely wrong. But in some situations, I just didn’t quite know how to express what I was feeling. More often, I couldn’t think of any emotions outside of happy, sad, or angry.

Emotions are hard. No joke. But the feelings wheel is here to help you.

Now if you’re sitting there trying to play tough guy thinking “I don’t need a dumb feelings wheel” or maybe “I don’t feel emotions” then let me stop you right there. You are human. You have emotions whether you like them or not. And you could benefit by getting in touch with yourself. Or at least for the sake of the others in your household. Let me tell you, walking on eggshells around someone who doesn’t recognize their emotions is fun for no one.

While the feelings wheel is not here to solve your problems, it is going to help you learn how to acknowledge, respond, and take care of your emotions. As an added bonus, you will also broaden your emotional vocabulary. 

Now that we’ve discussed what a feelings wheel is, lets break it down.

Who is the feelings wheel for?

YOU silly! Using a feelings wheel is an appropriate way too process and communicate emotions. While this is always important for yourself, it can be a beneficial tool to use to check in with a close other.

Where to use the feelings wheel?

Literally anywhere! You can use the feelings wheel anywhere you want. It can be something you refer to when you check in with yourself. Or you can post it wherever you want to help remind yourself to check in. 

For me, the feelings wheel is a staple image on our fridge for easy access during dinner time check ins. We also have feelings wheel pillows on our bed. Not kidding. There is no shame in where or how many places you put it. If it helps you to have it as the background of your phone so you remember to check in with yourself than do it!

When to use the feelings wheel?

Any time my friend! It’s encouraged to check in with yourself at least once a day at minimum. If there is a specific time that you can do so, then make it a routine. But don’t stop yourself there. While there may be some days where a single check in may suffice. But don’t hold back on more difficult days where your emotions may have changed or developed. In my household, the feelings wheel is used at dinner time to check in with myself and my fiancé. This encourages a deeper dinner conversation and strengthens our relationship with ourselves and each other.

How to use the feelings wheel?

This may seem like the easy part. But sometimes it can be a little trickier or more time consuming that expected. First, take a moment to pause and think. Look at the inner circle and think about what you are feeling. Once you narrow down your emotions from the inner circle, break it down further into the outer circle. 

It is important to note you can be feeling more than one emotion. AND they don’t always have to be positive. AND those emotions can be contradicting. That’s ok. For example, you can be feeling aggravated that someone yelled at you at work but also enthusiastic about the plans you have for the evening. Both are ok. 

Why use the feelings wheel?

This is probably the most important piece. Why do you want to use a feelings wheel to recognize an emotion? Because of what you do after you recognize that feeling. Remember, the goal isn’t to always get to a positive emotion. But rather to feel the feels, and then figure out what you need to support and care for yourself.

For example, this past week I was feeling anxious, stressed, and tired. While it was ok to feel those emotions, I needed to evaluate how to support and care for myself. What I did was take some time to relax and not bother with doing more work. I spent some time with my hobbies and tried to make sure I went to bed at a decent time.

By acknowledging what you are feeling you can better practice what you need. Or if you are sharing the feelings wheel with a close other, than perhaps there is something they can provide for you or vice versa.  For example, feelings of aggravations may mean one needs alone time. For someone else it may mean that one needs to talk it out and then play a game to let those feelings pass.

Whatever the emotion, it is vital that we learn to acknowledge them, spend some time feeling them, and then let it go by supporting and caring for ourselves. If we learn to better communicate with ourselves, it can be reflected onto others. In turn, deepening those relationships too.

I encourage you to start practicing with the feelings wheel once a day. Hang it somewhere that will inspire and remind you. Or set an alarm to check in on yourself. You deserve to take care of yourself. In the meantime, remember that I love you, and you should love you too.