Core Relationships – The Human Connections That Are Vital to Life

Human connection. A vulnerable interaction that is vital to improving the quality of life. It brings closeness and belonging. And through connection, establishes the core relationships of life.

Life is made up of three main tiers of relationships – Self, Close Others, and Community. While no two relationships are the same, they all bring meaning to life. First, let’s break down these three tiers so we know what we’re working with.

Relationship with Self:

Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you can have. Quite simply, you spend the most time with yourself. How you treat yourself can be reflected in the other relationships you have in life. Whether there are aspects of yourself you may love or hate, you are stuck with you. So, it is up to you to become comfortable with yourself and treat yourself with kindness. The only one responsible for caring for you, is you. You are what you may be seeking in others so it’s time to be there for yourself.

Relationships with Close Others:

While some people can thrive on little interaction with others, no one can actually exist in total isolation. Well, at least not in a healthy way.

Relationships with close others involves romantic partners, close friends, and family. These are the people in your life that appreciate you the same way, or maybe sometimes even better, than you. These relationships are the ones that support you. They push you to grow but ultimately provide love and support for you no matter what.

Relationships with Community:

Relationship with community involves your connection to others, the environment, a specific group of people, or even a random person at a grocery store. They can be long-term or short-term relationships. The importance of these relationships is the connection or shared experience with others that promotes positivity through commonality. They provide a space for learning, teaching, and growth.

Now that we’ve established the three core relationships, let’s dig a little deeper.

Life is defined by the relationships we do and don’t have. For me, I have a mediocre relationship with myself. I have close friends, but we don’t hang out often. And I hardly spend time with or in my community. All in all, I give myself a C. 

Previous experience has taught me that when I take better care of myself and practice self-love, I feel more inspired to do the things I love and be social. In turn, spending time with those I care about who further inspire me. They push me to grow and be an active member of my community where I can share and learn. But when I deny myself self-love, I can quickly take a deep dive. I no longer have the energy or will to connect with others or take care of myself. It can be really easy to spiral into self-doubt and isolation instead of blooming to my full potential.

The good news is human connection can be practiced. The more we practice, the better we get. And the best way to get better is to start with your relationship with yourself. Cause honey, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”

Yes, mother Ru, you can get an amen. If you can create kindness and compassion for yourself, you’ll soon start to notice it’s infectious tendencies to be shared with your close others. You can inspire them, and your community, to grow better and stronger. 

The secret to a better life and relationships is good boundaries, being present, and giving from your overflow (meaning don’t pour from an empty cup).

Healthy relationships have the trust and respect that someone else can follow their own path while you focus on yours. The result of this is being able to actually enjoy your relationships without the complications of relying on someone else to meet your needs. You can then have the ability to love others without the demand that they meet your needs. For example, I can say that I need my fiancé because she brings joy and light into my life. But while we support each other, we are two individuals who are responsible for our own personal evolution. By deepening the connection with ourselves, we deepen our connection with each other, others, and our community.

As an added bonus, deepening the healthy relationships with yourself, close others, and community can provide a long list of health benefits such as reducing stress, boosting moods, and increase levels of self-esteem. Who doesn’t want and need that!

These core relationships are something we will touch on a lot from here on out. Take a few minutes to sit and think about your core relationships. Even better, write it out on paper if you want. How do you treat yourself? Is your relationship with yourself affecting your close others or community? When was the last time you spent quality time with a close other or in your community? How do you feel when you do? How can you improve your core relationships?

It’s never too late to start practicing and improving your human connection. Remember to listen, be present, and take chances to put yourself out there. In the meantime, remember that I love you and you should love you too.