The Big Bad Burnout – How to Get Unstuck

Oops, I have reached the big bad burnout. Having spent countless hours of my life people pleasing my way to the top for so long, it has consumed me. To the point where I am not sure of my own identity if it’s not working to please someone else. I have checked all the boxes, did what I was told, and what do I have to show for it? I have debt. A job that keeps me living paycheck to paycheck and doesn’t utilize the degree I earned. Poor self-esteem. And absolutely no energy or motivation leftover to do the things I enjoy outside of work and sleep (if I even get that).

So how did I get here?

Honestly, I could point the finger of blame in countless directions:

• My Generation – being told that if we work hard now, we can enjoy the rewards of life later, when we retire.
• Economy – working hard for little pay while the cost of living continues to rise. Not being able to afford the lifestyle we were told to work hard for.
• Work Force – expecting you to do everything your position requires plus three other employees’ tasks. Then only getting paid the bare minimum. Businesses running on skeleton crew staffing and anyone who objects is replaceable.
• Expectations – that we must keep working to live life. That we need to slave away at the bottom, even if we hate it, to climb to the top.

I could also point the finger of blame back at myself. I have not respected myself enough to set boundaries or celebrate all the hard work I have accomplished. Even if I shouldn’t carry that weight of blame, it is up to me to create the change.

I have become just another cog in the machine, paying my dues, and waiting for my reward of success. But what really is the reward? What is the snapshot of the perfect career, relationship, family, money, life that we’ve been hustling for all this time?

Don’t get me wrong. This is not a pity party. This is me admitting that I feel stuck. And being stuck sucks. Always worrying about what’s your next move? If you make a bold move, will it be the right one? Did you just waste years of your life? Can you afford to take the risk? What happens if you fail?

As I sit here feeling stuck, I am feeling a lot of other things too. Shame, grief, loss, disappointment, exhaustion, resentment, infuriation, pressure, and simply overwhelmed. 

I have worked so hard at people pleasing to reach success that I haven’t allowed myself to truly celebrate an achievement for more than a second. This has made me really good at avoiding my emotions. There is no time to be weak when you have a mountain to climb. No time to grieve the struggles and hardships it took to get there when there is more work to be done. And certainly, no time to enjoy an achievement when you haven’t reached the summit of success yet. 

How do I get unstuck from burnout? 

There is no quick fix to burnout. But it is important to integrate a few things in your daily life to help alleviate stress and get yourself back on track to mental recovery.

• Get Adequate Sleep – this can be hard. But making yourself go to bed at a reasonable time can help reset your body. Turn off the tv, put down your phone, and lay in bed. Take melatonin if you need, but let your body and brain rest.
• Stay Hydrated – start with at least a glass of water a day and eventually add more.
• Get Some Movement – walk, stretch, get up from your desk. Do anything to keep your body moving and get some fresh air.
• Do Something For Yourself – work on a craft or hobby. Spend time doing something that brings you joy.
• Evaluate Your Life – is there something that is no longer benefiting you? If so, is it something you can change or drop to bring more positivity in your life? This might even mean considering options for a job or career that better suits you and brings you joy.
• Build Your Support Network – spend some time or reach out to those who really care for you. Use that safe space to voice your thoughts and feelings.
• Feel Your Feelings – take some time to acknowledge they are there and feel them. Let me tell you, it sucks. Feelings are hard. It’s gritty. It’s vulnerable. But it will get better.
• Create A Work Life Balance – prioritize yourself. Take your breaks and leave work on time. When you do leave work, leave it at the door. It’s ok to talk about your day and feel your feelings. But don’t spend your time away from your job working or stressing about the next day. Use that time for you.
• Remember What You Are Grateful For – think about all the positive things that you have in your life. Focus on these things instead of dwelling on the negatives.
• Love Yourself – tell yourself something kind. Say some affirmations even if you don’t fully believe them just yet. Point out something you did really well today and find the positivity. Start loving yourself.

It’s about damn time for us to all finally look up from the ground, turn around and enjoy the view. We may still have mountains to climb but do it for yourself. Invest in yourself mentally and physically because the journey is the all the best bits in life – so live it for you. We can escape the clutches of burnout. In the meantime, remember that I love you and you should love you too!